Lots of couples struggle with trusting the other - and usually it's not about sexual behavior. But all too often it's about the feeling that the other isn't understanding or willing to listen. Instead, the lack of trust kicks in when you feel you're getting blamed, constantly criticized or just feeling you're not as special to the other as in the beginning.
It's hard to trust when you're always waiting to get hit over the head with an emotional frying pan! so the relationship continues to get more and more defensive and more distant! Because most couples have a pattern of automatically reacting defensively - it's a way of protecting yourself.
At some point someone has to decide that their partner isn't really getting out of bed planning to undermine or intentionally inflict pain.
And out of hurt and frustration you both may verbally strike back - but keep in mind - this has developed as a way of coping and not because there's a lack of fundamental caring and not because the other is mean-spirited.
It's all about caring enough about the other that someone takes the high-road and gets proactive to break a truly negative pattern. It's about reminding yourself and trusting that your partner isn't wanting to see things continue as they are! Give it your best - just maybe you can do it.
Chandler
www.drcwelch.com
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