Imagine - A Different World For Yourself

Imagine -  having grown up without hurtful criticism or bad feelings about yourself

Imagine - living with enough encouragement and affirmation that you never learned to question yourself.

Imagine - a world that really listens and tries to understand you!

Imagine - being taken seriously that, your feelings are understood; your thoughts valued and others respect your judgment and simply enjoy being with you.

Imagine - a relationship where no one gets defensive; where you can be open about your feelings and you can really be yourself.

Imagine - a life without daily worry and anxiety. Think of all the energy that would be released for your daily life and your ability to invest in yourself and others.

Imagine - feeling special enough that you never question your love-ability or what you have to offer to another.

Imagine - living each day where no one in your world is self-centered; where you're focused on what's best for you - but on what's best for others as well.

Imagine - that this isn't a fantasy. That this could be the world you build every day for yourself and for those already in your world and for others who some day will become part of your world.

Give it your best - you can do it!
Chandler Welch
drcwelch.com

How High Is Your Bar?

I'm convinced only 4% of the world sets a high enough bar for themselves. Some folks do set a high bar for specific areas  such as academic performance or physical fitness - but few people take themselves seriously enough to set a high bar for themselves in each and every area of their lives.

I'm talking about having clarity regarding:
 1) personal priorities (some think in spiritual terms in this area)
 2) relating to others without coming from a self-centered place (think "emotional fitness")
 3) physical fitness
 4) how you treat your partner or spouse
 5) and academic or career (or self-learning) goals.

Only 4% take themselves seriously enough to consistently pursue these 5 areas in a way that shows that they are equal value and importance. Only a small number have the internal emotional and moral compass to invest themselves in these 5 crucial areas and not settle for a "good-enough" body or a "good-enough" relationship or a "good-enough" attitude toward whatever is in front of them.

So the question is: "how seriously do you take yourself"?
And if you're not part of this 4% - why not? What's keeping you from being the person you were born to be?

This is something for everyone to think about - and to take seriously.
Chandler Welch
drcwelch.com

Madness or Sanity??

Cervantes asked: "which will you have: wise madness or foolish sanity?"

People who deal with rejction, ciriticism or feelings of being alone - either in their own experience or in their current, adult relationships - usually cope by making use of "wise madness." That is, it's easier for most folks to use:

1. the fantasy of thinking that things are better than they really are
2. the fantasy that things will somehow change in the future
3. constant activity of parties, physical exercise, socializing, cleaning the home and the list goes on . . .
4. not valuing feelings, emotions and personal insight
5. fusing themselves with another creating the feeling of being loved and oneness

and many other ways that help to avoid seeing and having to deal with how they think and feel about their lives.

But a few choose the path of "foolish sanity" by striving to deal with:

•  the disappointing
•  and sometimes the hurtful parts of their lives

 It may be "foolish" because it requires looking at what has been difficult and challenging to confront. But they are also choosing to live with more "sanity" than "madness" by wanting authentic love and authentic people in their lives. And they want to be authentic themselves, authentic:

1.  in the sense of being upfront, honest
2.  not self-centered
3.  and willing to do the give-and-take that strong, healthy people and relationships require.

It's something for all of us to think about,
Chandler Welch
drcwelch.com

Coping With Food and Life

People who use food in their attempt to deal with anxiety and even loneliness often become depressed when confronted by the need to diet. Why? Because food has become the key means of coping and self-soothing.

 All of us can feel discouraged or down at times. And lots of people (probably all of us at one time or another) turn to food to make ourselves feel better when we feel defeated, discouraged or frustrated. But some of us use food as an on-going way of coping and responding to the some of the negative situations and emotions most of us encounter at some point in life..
Think about it:

• we look for atmosphere or ambiance in restaurants;
•  we seek out specific foods or special desserts
• we have our most favorite snacks
• and it doesn't matter whether those are healthy or outright junk foods

 All are examples of how tied our emotions are to food.  And it's no wonder - because food is one of the most satisfying and comforting experiences we have from the very beginning of our lives.

But there are those who struggle with their emotions - and the way they eat serves as an unconscious defense against the feelings of sadness, loneliness or other negative feelings. The question for some of these folks is not "why am I overeating" but "what else would I do with these feelings?"

And one last thought - although this kind of eating can be a problem, this relationship with food often masks or serves as a defense against other bad feelings. Sometimes it's a little more complicated than it seems.
Chandler
drcwelch.com

Drifting Relationship # 4

If your relationship has changed over time - then welcome to the club. What gets talked about the most is usually the shift of sexual interest. But that usually happens because:
 1) people don't maintain a sense of the erotic (this is a whole other subject) and
 2) more importantly, they don't make the effort to pay attention to the others' feelings and emotional needs. Lots of folks just get too used to each other. So the feeling of closeness changes.
But some people find their relationship drifting because they've placed too much weight on the feelings which were first generated between them as a way of defining their own significance and worth to themselves over the years. For example, in the beginning the feeling of specialness and significance comes from the emotional and sexual interest of the partner. But because all relationships change - the ones that devolve are no longer able to provide that ongoing source of energy that, in the past, has served to define and sustain ones' sense of personal significance and value.
If love does flow from the creator of the cosmos, then getting to a place where:
 1) you're able to feel your worth and specialness and
 2) eventually able to really value yourself (and take yourself seriously) and
 3) recognizing that the energy of love is capable of enabling you to be more aware of and attuned - that just maybe this energy can make a difference in how you view and feel toward yourself as well as your partner.
Because this energy is already a part of you - but you have to address what has till now inhibited and blocked your ability to access and draw on it in your feelings and attitudes toward yourself and maybe even toward your partner.
It's definitely something to think about.
Chandler Welch
drcwelch.com

Five Skills For Your Career and Your Relationship

A recent survey indicates that 93% of employers want college graduates with a broad background. They want to hire people who possess the following five abilities:

• a capacity to think critically
• an ability to communicate with clarity
• the ability to solve complex problems
• to think and function with ethical judgment
• to engage others with integrity

These are the same abilities and skills required for a successful, healthy relationship:

1. critical thinking is thinking about what you bring to the other person every hour; every day
2. communicating is about being honest and open - no smoke and mirrors
3. solving problems is what couples are supposed to do - together
4. being ethical is about being honest and not living with secrets or not trying to manipulate
5. integrity is about being consistent and dependable; it's being able to be trusted

A few things for all of us to think about.
Chandler Welch
www.drcwelch.com

The Battle To Be Who You Are Today - Video

The Battle To Be Who You Are Today