Coping With Food and Life

People who use food in their attempt to deal with anxiety and even loneliness often become depressed when confronted by the need to diet. Why? Because food has become the key means of coping and self-soothing.

 All of us can feel discouraged or down at times. And lots of people (probably all of us at one time or another) turn to food to make ourselves feel better when we feel defeated, discouraged or frustrated. But some of us use food as an on-going way of coping and responding to the some of the negative situations and emotions most of us encounter at some point in life..
Think about it:

• we look for atmosphere or ambiance in restaurants;
•  we seek out specific foods or special desserts
• we have our most favorite snacks
• and it doesn't matter whether those are healthy or outright junk foods

 All are examples of how tied our emotions are to food.  And it's no wonder - because food is one of the most satisfying and comforting experiences we have from the very beginning of our lives.

But there are those who struggle with their emotions - and the way they eat serves as an unconscious defense against the feelings of sadness, loneliness or other negative feelings. The question for some of these folks is not "why am I overeating" but "what else would I do with these feelings?"

And one last thought - although this kind of eating can be a problem, this relationship with food often masks or serves as a defense against other bad feelings. Sometimes it's a little more complicated than it seems.
Chandler
drcwelch.com

Drifting Relationship # 4

If your relationship has changed over time - then welcome to the club. What gets talked about the most is usually the shift of sexual interest. But that usually happens because:
 1) people don't maintain a sense of the erotic (this is a whole other subject) and
 2) more importantly, they don't make the effort to pay attention to the others' feelings and emotional needs. Lots of folks just get too used to each other. So the feeling of closeness changes.
But some people find their relationship drifting because they've placed too much weight on the feelings which were first generated between them as a way of defining their own significance and worth to themselves over the years. For example, in the beginning the feeling of specialness and significance comes from the emotional and sexual interest of the partner. But because all relationships change - the ones that devolve are no longer able to provide that ongoing source of energy that, in the past, has served to define and sustain ones' sense of personal significance and value.
If love does flow from the creator of the cosmos, then getting to a place where:
 1) you're able to feel your worth and specialness and
 2) eventually able to really value yourself (and take yourself seriously) and
 3) recognizing that the energy of love is capable of enabling you to be more aware of and attuned - that just maybe this energy can make a difference in how you view and feel toward yourself as well as your partner.
Because this energy is already a part of you - but you have to address what has till now inhibited and blocked your ability to access and draw on it in your feelings and attitudes toward yourself and maybe even toward your partner.
It's definitely something to think about.
Chandler Welch
drcwelch.com