Sexually Molested and Angry

After talking with women who were sexually molested in some way when they were young, I've found an interesting pattern. Many (maybe most) are still angry at what their father, brother, grandfather, etc did. But many of them verbalize just as much anger - and sometimes more anger - at their mothers for the way they responded or didn't respond to what was going on.
Most people don't think about this part of the equation, but it's obvious to me how real it is. What's unfortunate is that most of the time the mothers fell victim to what was going on as well - in the sense that many of these women dealt with this emotional hot-potato from a place of:

•  personal emotional weakness
• emotional/financial insecurity;
•  fear of what others would think or say
•  fear of their partner
• or incapacitated by their own history of having been molested.

Whatever the reason the bottom line is that a surprising number of mothers failed their children at a time when they needed to be protected. But before anyone goes for the tar and feathers - the fact is - that insight and understanding into those mothers can help (to some extent) to heal at least some of that lingering hurt and anger. It's not going to make it all go away but maybe it will help some of those mothers become a tad more human in a situation when their response was less than what was needed!
If a few of these now grown daughters (and some sons) can help today's mothers be less fearful and more clear about what their response needs to be as they face a similar situation - then maybe that anger, as justified as it has been, will help protect some children today who need that protection now, as much as they, themselves, needed it years ago.
Chandler
drcwelch.com